By the time I got to know I was pregnant, I was into the second month of being pregnant. The realization was over whelming and a mixture of feelings took hold of me; as I was too excited with the realization of being pregnant but I was apprehensive of what was going to happen next as well. I guess this is the feeling that every ‘First Time Mother’ has.
The news not only had thrilled us but my parents were also entranced by it. My mom, who is always very prompt in everything, handed me a list of ‘Dos & Don’ts’ of pregnancy. She was very adamant about me being cautious right away. But ‘me being me’, the carefree idiot that I am; I practically ignored that important piece of advice. But later on something happened that changed my prospective altogether and made me cautious at every step.
I was never a bookworm but the thought of being pregnant made me grope through the pages of pregnancy books and ‘Google’ the internet for any and every information on pregnancy. I wanted to be well informed and to know what to expect and when. In my attempt I learnt a lot of medical jargons related to pregnancy. I even calculated the expected due date (EDD) of my baby. (he he… couldn’t wait for the doc, Google baba ki Jai!!!).
It was time for my doc visit, and when we saw him, we found him as enchanted as we were. But he was worried owing to my previous health condition; therefore, he instantly decided to have a USG done with a prescription of the necessary medications for the initial three months.
The idea of USG at this early in pregnancy created tsunami waves of anxiety within us and my parents but all we could do was do as the doc says. So, we waited. At the appointed day we found ourselves waiting for my turn at the radiologists table biting nails off our fingers. Finally it was my turn, and with trembling feet I dragged myself to the radiologist table; it wasn’t like I didn’t want to know about the baby but it was like if something was wrong or if I wasn’t pregnant (all stupid thoughts, couldn’t help them then though).
The radiologist’s expression made me more nervous and I just wanted to run from that room. But couldn’t do that, could I? Now I am laughing but I was scared to my bones then. So, I waited silently as the radiologist scanned me. I was all cold by the time she finished her scanning. She then turned the screen of the USG device towards me and there I saw a little figure clutched inside what seemed like my abdomen. Yes, that was my ‘Little One’. What I felt then was beyond words. I felt my eyes filled with unknown tears and my body swell up with unfelt emotions. Those emotions triggered a deep sensation within me of being a mother, and believe me that was something awesome at the same time it was mind boggling. When I tried to describe the picture to Sanjeev later (as he wasn’t allowed into the radiology room with me, damn the radiologist :X), I found I couldn’t do justice and felt guilty to have left him behind. But when the USG report came, he understood my emotions as I could read his face, it was filled with excitement beyond words just like me.
When the report came it was a relief for the doc and my mom that I was carrying a single fetus (but I wanted twins… boohoo… but I was happy with the fact that ‘one bird in hand is better than two in the bush’). Now, the doc fired away instructions to me as to what we should do from there on. He also warned us to be cautious as first three months were crucial and that there might be a chance of miscarriage if we didn’t take the proper medications and precaution. That was when my carefree attitude went down the drain and a new conscious and cautious attitude took its place instead.
So, the second month had brought a drastic change in me as I awakened to the new (for me) motherhood feeling with the preview of my Little One and an engulfing sensation of responsibility as the life of my tiny Little One entirely depended on me now. Then I knew my journey has just started. JJJ
N.B : I remember when I showed my USG picture to Nilu and Maa(my choti mausi), they both had mistaken the Umbilical cord to be the baby’s tail :D, I have a good laugh at it whenever I remember this.
No comments:
Post a Comment